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Being Chinese

Being Chinese
Being Chinese is an occasional column that contemplates and explores the cultural, existential and related aspects of Chinese experience, whether the writers are Chinese by birth, descent or osmosis.
A boy offers incense before an ancestral grave on Diamond Hill in Hong Kong on Ching Ming Festival on April 5, 2023. The festival is a time of remembrance across the Chinese diaspora. Photo: Elson Li
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | In China, I found pieces of history waiting to be carried forward

My family’s history had travelled across the Pacific, leaving gaps that descendants on both sides are still working to fill in.

Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Talking when you eat is bad for you, and other Chinese beliefs

Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | When a Chinese auntie met the right uncle

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Shenzhen

Being Chinese | Once, I was proud of the Shenzhen miracle. Now I’m not so sure

The Taiwanese-influenced accent my voice carries is a relic of the 2000s and hints at how differently my generation understands modernity.

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A food delivery drone takes off from a site near Shenzhen Bay Park in Shenzhen on January 17. Photo: VCG via Getty Images
Mainland China

Being Chinese | How to deal with this ‘very Chinese time’ in Western lives

The question is not whether outsiders are getting China or Chinese culture right, but what we choose to do with their attention.

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Asian diaspora

Being Chinese | 3 months in China became 10 years. Here’s why I stayed

My three-month China stint grew to 10 years, as predictability disappeared from my work around UK-China, EU-China and US-China relations.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Growing up Hakka, around a language that few dared to speak publicly

My relatives spoke Hakka, but behind closed doors. Imagine my surprise when I finally found myself in a public Hakka-speaking environment.

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Lai Chi Wo, a Hakka walled village, in the northeastern New Territories of Hong Kong in 2019. The settlement has a history of more than 300 years. Photo: Roy Issa
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Chinese overseas need not keep to ourselves. I certainly don’t

Half of my close friends in London are Chinese; the other half are not. This balance did not happen by accident.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | In New York, ‘Chinese’ doesn’t begin to capture our many tastes

In a somewhat unexpected way, moving to New York broadened my perspective on China’s vast linguistic and culinary differences.

China society

Being Chinese | In China, some of us are keeping elderly care in the family – for now

My extended family has taken time to reach a decision about my grandma’s daily care. As the rest of us age, I’m also preparing options.

A daughter feeds her mother at a community elderly care centre in Suzhou, Jiangsu province in 2020. As families grow smaller in China, different generations face different decisions on elderly care. Photo: Xinhua
Lunar New Year

Being Chinese | The great Chinese New Year divide and how I bridged it

After sitting through the Spring Festival Gala with mainland Chinese friends, I had to introduce them to a delightful ritual from Singapore.

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Children hold up calligraphy banners they have just received for Chinese New Year in Singapore on January 29, ahead of the holiday. Photo: Xinhua
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | I feel for young Hongkongers who say they are ‘from the UK’

Instead of mocking those who adopt a superficial Western identity, we might pause and ask: what pressure made them feel this was necessary?

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | A Chinese Singaporean’s dilemma: should I change my surname?

My grandparents lost their original surnames by force of circumstance. Now that I have the luxury of choice, do I restore my family name?

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China society

Being Chinese | Where do lonely hearts in China go now? Late-night live streams

I was swiping past the noise on Douyin when a calm, warm voice stopped me. So began my evenings in the world of companionship live streams.

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A woman walks in the nearly deserted shopping area of Sanlitun in Beijing in 2020. Photo: EPA-EFE
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | In both China and the West, the art of parenting involves letting go

Grandpa, very much in the traditional mould, believed in toughening children up for the world. Mum, raising her only child, was not impressed.

A child rides a bicycle towards the Hong Kong skyline in 2011. Photo: AFP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | The 30-word identity pitch of an overseas Chinese

To some, “Are you Chinese?” is a question about nationality. To others, it’s about ethnicity. To cover all bases, I’ve crafted a 30-word answer.

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Women and gender

Being Chinese | Why Chinese women like me are done being quiet and ‘appropriate’

Chinese women are praised for gentleness. Our tone must please; our anger must be graceful. But a new generation is speaking out.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | A very Chinese funeral and all the things my family didn’t say

The Chinese have dizzyingly precise words for various family members, but families like mine express emotions through stoic suffering.

Ghost money and incense sticks are burnt in front of a gravestone during the Ching Ming Festival at a cemetery in Shanghai in 2017. Photo: AFP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Looking for love in Shanghai, Chinese auntie-style

People’s Square is a ruthlessly efficient analogue of Tinder, run by elderly Chinese parents. I quickly learned about my own limits.

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Food and Drinks

Being Chinese | My food obsession has deep Chinese roots

The rationing era imprinted something on me – not just a craving for food, but a reverence. In Chinese culture, food is never just food.

China education

Being Chinese | How education in China has evolved, before my very eyes

Amid falling births and policy adjustments, education for one of my children is a more joyous experience than it has been for the other.

Children take part in a bicycle race at the Second Experimental Kindergarten in Yantai High-tech Zone, Shandong province in 2024. Photo: CFOTO / Future Publishing via Getty Images
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Life and finance lessons from my Hong Kong mahjong parties

I was a hit with my mahjong buddies because I didn’t play like a typical Chinese person. The years since have taught me better.

A player discards a tile during a session at the Hong Kong Mahjong Company. Photo: May Tse
China society

Being Chinese | Young Chinese are trying out the simple life. Am I missing out?

My generation has never known an economic slump lasting a number of years. Some friends are taking the opportunity to slow down.

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Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | Half a world away from Hong Kong, I had a Chinese epiphany

I thought I understood British culture. No amount of book reading or television watching could have prepared me for a seismic shift.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | I crave a sense of community. Is that my Chinese side talking?

AI chatbots can’t fufill a desire for connection that may have been passed down generations in a culture where community ties are treasured.

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A group of men play cards in an alley in Beijing on July 29. When people live in a hutong, a narrow alleyway lined with siheyuan – courtyard-style residences – a culture of connection is baked in. Photo: AFP
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | An ‘elegant’ English name would be all wrong for my Hong Kong baby

My daughter, a child of multiple cultures, needs a carefully chosen name in a city where racial difference is not seamlessly accepted.

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Young residents from diverse backgrounds holding new mainland travel permits return to Hong Kong in 2024, after a trip to Guangzhou and Foshan. Photo: Xiaomei Chen
China society

Being Chinese | I escaped a Chinese guoxue ‘reading group’. My friend is less lucky

The trend of ‘national studies’ unsettled me. Packaged in Chinese symbols – robes, incense, ancient wisdom – much of it felt too commodified.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | What’s in a Singaporean Chinese name? It’s a long story

In the US, I’ve been assumed to be Taiwanese, mainland Chinese or Korean. It’s like watching people play charades using my business card.

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