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Being Chinese
Ren Yan

In China, some of us are keeping elderly care in the family – for now

My extended family has taken time to reach a decision about my grandma’s daily care. As the rest of us age, I’m also preparing options

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A daughter feeds her mother at a community elderly care centre in Suzhou, Jiangsu province in 2020. As families grow smaller in China, different generations face different decisions on elderly care. Photo: Xinhua
Ren Yan is a Beijing-based current affairs commentator.

My grandma, now in her 90s, has long held together an extended family including four children and six grandchildren. As a Chinese saying goes, “Having an elder in the family is like having a treasure.” While my aunt, father and two uncles all live near her in the same city in northern China, my generation has ventured out to different places. Yet no matter where we have settled, no trip home is complete without a visit to Grandma.

When I first moved to Beijing, I had to travel about five hours by train – a journey that takes only two hours by high-speed rail nowadays. In the intervening decades, I have completed my studies, found a job and started a family of my own in the national capital.

Meanwhile, Grandma has been facing one battle after another: lung cancer, a stroke, Alzheimer’s disease. Her days follow a strict medication routine, increasingly and carefully managed by her ageing offspring.

My father still recalls the emotional and financial strain that was put on the family when she was diagnosed with lung cancer, the leading cause of cancer-related deaths in China. One pill to be taken daily “used to cost about 500 yuan”, he said.
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