‘Stay by your side’: Time Still Turns The Pages director shares what inspired the movie about student suicide, trauma

Set to premiere this Thursday, Nick Cheuk Yik-him’s directorial debut delves into the heavy subjects of family trauma and student suicide in Hong Kong. It has received five nominations at the eminent Taiwanese awards, including best new director and best original screenplay.

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The film follows the story of a secondary school teacher who grapples with his childhood trauma after finding an anonymous suicide note in his classroom.

“It is a heart-wrenching story, and I cried when I first read the script,” Sean shared. “Eli is a depressed boy who endures constant physical abuse from his stern father and is not loved by his family because of his poor academic results. I genuinely feel sorry for him.”

Although Sean had previous experience acting in advertisements and dramas, his role as Eli Cheng was a new challenge as it was different from the upbeat characters he usually plays.

“To better understand the character, I would sometimes read the news on student suicides and the comments,” the young actor said. “And it was upsetting to see some people being harsh [to the victims].”

Even as two years have passed since filming, Sean is still unable to hold back tears when watching the movie. “Especially during the part where Eli wrote in the diary ... ‘If one day I disappear from this family, they might be happier,’” Sean shared, adding that he hoped the film could help those who are struggling.

“Ending your life is never a solution to problems. If you are having a hard time, don’t conceal it and try to talk to someone ... I hope people will be touched by us [the film], and we can see fewer [suicide] cases in the city.”

The idea for the movie stems from the 36-year-old director’s personal experience 14 years ago when a close friend from university took his own life. The tragic event led Cheuk to contemplate the pervasiveness of dejection among Hong Kong youth, which the filmmaker could also relate to as a student.

“I was a sentimental kid ... who suffered great pressure in academics as I was never a high achieving student. I only got eight marks in the public exam, and I felt like a loser,” Cheuk shared, adding that he finally found his place when he started studying film.

“Movies are not about getting high scores but being honest to yourself and your creativity,” he pointed out. “I used to think I was stupid because of my poor grades, but later, I realised it was not the case after I gained different skills in film studies such as photography and communication.”

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But years after leaving behind his student days, Cheuk discovered that things had not improved for today’s students who face even greater stress, resulting in a disturbing recent rise in suicides. So he decided to tackle this sensitive topic by narrating a story that explores the factors that lead young people to end their lives.

“Adults are the ones who shape children’s world views. If parents instil the belief that studying is everything, children will believe it. When they don’t perform well in school, they may perceive it as the end of the world,” Cheuk noted, revealing that he had also wrestled with moments of despair and suicidal thoughts.

Drawing from his own experience with depression, Cheuk said, “What I wanted most was not a solution but to have someone there to listen to me.”

“As I’ve grown older, I started to understand that those feelings are just a stage, and they won’t last. It’s OK to feel upset. You just need to talk about your feelings and let people in to support you. There is no shame in being sad.”

Telling a story involving such emotionally weighty topics was a challenging endeavour – the director spent five years writing the script and editing the film.

“I struggled while writing the story as I was concerned about the potential influence it could cast on audiences or whether would I romanticise the issue,” Cheuk said.

“I realised that sometimes, even with good intentions, we can still hurt others with our words, for example, by saying a simple gayau to someone who is depressed as they might already be doing their best to hold on ... So I had to be very careful with my choice of words.”

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While conducting research for the film, Cheuk noticed that many people still felt uncomfortable discussing mental health issues and some even blamed those who were suffering.

“The state of depression is not a choice. I’m certain that at some point in life, everyone will hit rock bottom, and we will want someone to be there for us ... to tell us that things won’t always be this way,” he emphasised, sharing his favourite line from the film: “I might not be able to help, but I will stay by your side.”

Cheuk explained that the English title of the film comes from the lyrics of a song called “So Far Away” by an American band, Avenged Sevenfold, paying tribute to their drummer who passed away.

“I deeply connected to the song ... The lyrics talk about the things they want to tell the departed friend, but they are so far away. And even as time still turns the pages, they will always remember him,” the director noted, adding that the title encapsulates his thoughts on dealing with painful experiences from the past.

“There have been past traumas that we cannot change, but time keeps passing. All we can do is shift our perspective on the past and hold onto the memories of the people we have lost. We may not be able to heal the wounds or fill the void, but we can learn to accept it.”

If you have suicidal thoughts or know someone who is experiencing them, help is available. In Hong Kong, dial +852 2896-0000 for The Samaritans or +852 2382-0000 for Suicide Prevention Services. In the US, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. For a list of other nations’ helplines, see this page.