To address Hong Kong’s child abuse cases, NGO resources on positive parenting show corporal punishment alternatives

Last Monday, the mother in her 30s left work early and rushed to North Point where an outreach van was parked. Operated by the Hong Kong Family Welfare Society, the vehicle visited different districts last week aiming to raise awareness of the well-being of children.

Lam, who lives in Lam Tin, had learned about the event on social media and was excited to take part.

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She said there were not many opportunities in Hong Kong to learn about parenting, especially during the pandemic. The mother added that her stress had reduced this year after her child started nursery classes and she received help from teachers.

Explaining why she believes corporal punishment is ineffective, Lam said: “I still remember being beaten by my mother with a cane when I was young; it was traumatising. I would never do the same to my child.”

But not all parents in Hong Kong share Lam’s view. Corporal punishment is still prevalent as the city’s existing laws do not prohibit physical discipline from parents.

According to a survey published last March by Against Child Abuse, nearly half of the 677 respondents aged six to 17 in Hong Kong reported experiencing corporal punishment from their parents. The NGO said these discipline methods humiliated children and could impair their physical and mental health.

Corporal punishment could escalate into abuse, said Donna Wong Chui-ling, director of Against Child Abuse.

“When parents find that a ‘mild’ punishment cannot change what they perceive as their children’s bad habits or temper, they will escalate the punishment from hitting with their hands to using tools,” the social worker pointed out.

Against Child Abuse’s survey published last year found that abusive discipline harmed parent-child relationships because children who frequently experienced physical punishment reported feeling distant from their parents.

“Every type of child abuse will have a psychological impact on children – they will showcase a lower self-esteem,” Wong explained.

“Research shows that the abuse affects children’s brain development and emotion regulation,” she said, adding it could even cause them to struggle with socialising.

Wong noted that most of the time, parents using corporal punishment said they were triggered by their children’s behaviour, academic performance and emotions. However, these parents also noted other environmental factors such as insufficient childcare resources and support from their families.

According to the Social Welfare Department, the number of newly registered child protection cases last year skyrocketed to a record 1,439. About 45 per cent of these involved physical abuse, most of which happened within the family.

Wong noted this was just the tip of the iceberg: “The situation is worrying as the pandemic and class suspensions made many abuse cases less noticeable.”

In response to the city’s child abuse cases, the government proposed a mandatory reporting mechanism last September requiring professionals working with children to flag suspected child abuse cases.

But a survey released by Save the Children last month found that people were reluctant to intervene when a child was physically punished in public as they did not want to get involved in others’ affairs.

The study – conducted from September to October last year – revealed that about 20 per cent of the 1,008 respondents reported witnessing children being beaten, slapped or verbally humiliated by their parents or carers in the past 12 months. However, only 23 per cent took action to dissuade the perpetrators or call the police.

“Most people might not have a clear understanding of what is corporal punishment and child abuse. They might think of it as a way to educate the children, but we should always notice its lasting impacts,” said Alice Cheng Yim-ping, a senior social worker at Hong Kong Family Welfare Society with more than 20 years of experience working with families.

“If everyone could take a step further to care about the people and children around them, it could help prevent some possible child abuse in the first place.”

The NGO’s positive parenting van was part of its efforts to launch a Family Month this May. They held a series of events to educate the public about family well-being, from workshops for educators to street booths for parents.

Cheng noted that to prevent child abuse, parents needed to control their emotions.

“I always teach parents to say three sentences when they get mad at their children: ‘I am angry. I need to leave for a while to calm down. I will be right back,’” the social worker explained. “It’s very important to give yourself some time and space to simmer down.”

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Children could also reach out for help when they feel they have been mistreated by telling adults they trust.

Cheng acknowledged: “Older students might find it hard to talk about as they will worry about how their peers or others see them and the consequences. But they should know that they have the right to be protected.”

As a mother of two, the social worker said she understood the struggles of parenting: “Parents want to do their jobs well, but ... it requires lots of effort.”

She reminded parents to think about why they decided to have children: “All we want is to help children be happy and healthy ... It takes time to practise positive parenting but do not give up. Learn to appreciate the beauty of your children; discover their good parts and strengths.”

*Full name withheld at interviewee’s request.

If you are experiencing abuse and have no trusted adult to speak to, you can call the Against Child Abuse hotline at 2755 1122 or the Social Welfare Department at 2343 2255.