Asking for a Friend: Help! I started my period. How do I talk to my mum about it?
- Each week, we respond to a question from our readers and give advice and resources they can turn to
- This week, we help a teen wondering how to tell their mum about a new phase in life
It may not feel fun, but getting your period is a sign that you are healthy and growing. Photo: ShutterstockNeed an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this Google Form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
Dear Friend,
I got my period recently, and I haven’t told my mum yet. We don’t talk about these things, so I feel uncomfortable telling her about it. I’m really nervous, and I could use some advice on how to bring up the topic with her.
Sincerely, Growing
Help! I don’t know how to talk to my parents about serious issues. What should I do?
Dear Growing,
Congratulations! Did you know that in many cultures across the world, getting your period is marked as a special occasion by the family? It is considered great news; it shows you are healthy and moving from childhood to being a teenager.
So, let’s resolve this problem and let your mum know you have reached this life milestone. Here are a few different approaches you could take:
The silent informer
Take unopened pads or tampons and leave them in a few places mum will notice, such as your backpack, wardrobe, or side table, or leave a box in the bathroom cupboard. She’ll know she didn’t buy them and will understand that you need to use them now. No words will be said on your end, but she’ll know.
Tell a cousin
Obviously, this doesn’t have to be a cousin; it could be a close family friend, relative, or older sibling. Tell them you’ve started getting your period, and give them permission to tell your mom about it.
The added bonus of this method is you can ask them any questions you may have about periods. You could also have a mini celebration with this person, who would be very excited for you to have entered this phase of life.
Let it slip
When alone with mum, casually comment about something period-related. “Can we please stop by Mannings/ Park’n’Shop/ Watsons? I need to buy some pads.” Don’t make a big deal about the statement; just let it slip out and see how mum responds.
This will give her updated information on you and let her know that you now have specific needs for items that she can add to the monthly shopping list.
I am too shy to share my feelings. How can I learn to open up?
The Nike approach
Just do it! When you see mum sitting by herself, sit beside her and say a variation of this sentence: “Mum, I got my period.” That’s all you need to say.
Hopefully, she will have a positive response. She may even have a few questions about your feelings and whether you have everything you need. If she doesn’t respond this way, at least now she knows, and you can turn to other friends or relatives to answer your questions.
You’ve got this, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by Lolita Schmalenberg, a psychotherapist and teen and adult therapist at Lifespan Counselling.