Asking for a Friend: Help! My mom wants me to dress 'girlie' but it's not my style

Next time your mum is thinking about buying you clothes, whether it’s in a mall or online, be with her to show her what you like and don’t like. You’ll be able to bond over this activity, too, as she seems to enjoy shopping, and your interest and input will help her understand you better.

It's totally understandable to want a wardrobe that reflects who you are.

If that fails, then save up your allowance for things that you really want! Unfortunately, based on your age, you’re probably held back financially from buying exactly what you like. Is there any way you could compromise? Instead of going for baggy jeans, choose a straight leg. Rather than skirts, find shorts that make you feel comfortable. 

At the end of the day, your mum is showing she cares about you, and wants to dress you because you’re her daughter! Growing up means you don’t need her help as much any more. Get involved with the process, and I’m sure she’ll come around.
Hope things work out, Friend of a Friend

Tips for telling your friend you like them

Hi Friend,
I’m holding myself back from doing the things I want to do, and I hate it.

For example, I’m scared to tell my crush that I like her because I’m worried she won’t feel the same. I’m scared to speak up in class even when I know the answer because I don’t want to look dumb. I don’t even try new activities in case I’m not good at them. I feel like life is passing me by and there have been so many times I wish I acted. How do I stop letting my fear of rejection stop me from doing things in life? 
Self-restraint

What do I do when my mum is in a mood?

Hi Self, 
We’ve all faced the fear of rejection at some point, so you’re not alone in your worries. However, sometimes it’s worth asking yourself: What’s the worst that could happen?

We can stress about all the potential outcomes of a situation, but you won’t actually know what happens unless you try. Sometimes the results are not what you hoped for, but that’s when you learn from your mistakes and attempt to succeed in future. 

I think instead of worrying about all the things that could go wrong, focus on what you can gain from trying. I find listing the pros and cons of making certain choices helpful in deciding whether I want to do them or not. Let’s look at your three examples and break them down. 

In terms of telling your crush you like her, the worst possible outcome is that she doesn’t like you back. It sucks, but people are not always going to reciprocate romantic feelings. But, what if she secretly has a crush on you, too, and didn’t want to tell you? You’d never know, and you’d miss out. 

I would recommend that you try to get closer as friends before you jump right into a relationship. That may lessen the chances of rejection if she gets to know you. If you don’t get a girlfriend, you may gain a friend from the experience. 

To help handle nerves, just think: what's the worst that could happen?

Speaking aloud in class will build your confidence and communication skills. It’s really beneficial to develop these skills now, before you go to university or enter the workplace. 

Honestly, no one will remember if you say something wrong, because your peers are probably preoccupied with their own problems. I doubt anyone is thinking about it as much as you are! Start by challenging yourself to say one thing aloud in each class, and that will help you feel more comfortable.

Finally if there is something you really want to try, as Nike says, just do it! Don’t be so hard on yourself for not immediately mastering it – you have to pain a lot of bad pictures before you do a masterpiece. Try a hobby just for your personal enjoyment. Practice making mistakes alone, and figure out how to overcome them. 

When you can accept that rejection is inevitable, you can start to let go of your fears. Take deep breaths when faced with challenges, weigh the pros and cons, and take small steps to change every day. You’ll get there eventually. 
Best of luck, Friend of a Friend