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Being Chinese

Being Chinese
Being Chinese is an occasional column that contemplates and explores the cultural, existential and related aspects of Chinese experience, whether the writers are Chinese by birth, descent or osmosis.
A daughter feeds her mother at a community elderly care centre in Suzhou, Jiangsu province in 2020. As families grow smaller in China, different generations face different decisions on elderly care. Photo: Xinhua
China society

Being Chinese | In China, some of us are keeping elderly care in the family – for now

My extended family has taken time to reach a decision about my grandma’s daily care. As the rest of us age, I’m also preparing options.

Lunar New Year

Being Chinese | The great Chinese New Year divide and how I bridged it

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Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | I feel for young Hongkongers who say they are ‘from the UK’

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | A Chinese Singaporean’s dilemma: should I change my surname?

My grandparents lost their original surnames by force of circumstance. Now that I have the luxury of choice, do I restore my family name?

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Door gods glower at Thian Hock Keng, Singapore’s oldest Hokkien temple, in 2022. Now a national monument, the temple was built and dedicated to Ma Zu, the protector of seafarers, in the 1840s, an era when long journeys could only be made by sea. Photo: Shutterstock
China society

Being Chinese | Where do lonely hearts in China go now? Late-night live streams

I was swiping past the noise on Douyin when a calm, warm voice stopped me. So began my evenings in the world of companionship live streams.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | In both China and the West, the art of parenting involves letting go

Grandpa, very much in the traditional mould, believed in toughening children up for the world. Mum, raising her only child, was not impressed.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | The 30-word identity pitch of an overseas Chinese

To some, “Are you Chinese?” is a question about nationality. To others, it’s about ethnicity. To cover all bases, I’ve crafted a 30-word answer.

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A visitor views relics from China’s Bronze Age at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco in 2024. Photo: Xinhua
Women and gender

Being Chinese | Why Chinese women like me are done being quiet and ‘appropriate’

Chinese women are praised for gentleness. Our tone must please; our anger must be graceful. But a new generation is speaking out.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | A very Chinese funeral and all the things my family didn’t say

The Chinese have dizzyingly precise words for various family members, but families like mine express emotions through stoic suffering.

Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Looking for love in Shanghai, Chinese auntie-style

People’s Square is a ruthlessly efficient analogue of Tinder, run by elderly Chinese parents. I quickly learned about my own limits.

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Elderly parents display information about their children in the marriage market in People’s Square in Shanghai in 2020. Photo: EPA-EFE
Food and Drinks

Being Chinese | My food obsession has deep Chinese roots

The rationing era imprinted something on me – not just a craving for food, but a reverence. In Chinese culture, food is never just food.

A child plays a game with zongzi, or sticky rice dumplings, on a high speed train running between Chongqing and Chengdu in southwest China in May 2017, ahead of the Dragon Boat Festival. Photo: Xinhua
China education

Being Chinese | How education in China has evolved, before my very eyes

Amid falling births and policy adjustments, education for one of my children is a more joyous experience than it has been for the other.

Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Life and finance lessons from my Hong Kong mahjong parties

I was a hit with my mahjong buddies because I didn’t play like a typical Chinese person. The years since have taught me better.

China society

Being Chinese | Young Chinese are trying out the simple life. Am I missing out?

My generation has never known an economic slump lasting a number of years. Some friends are taking the opportunity to slow down.

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A view of Lieshen village in Chongqing on August 15. Photo: Xinhua
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | Half a world away from Hong Kong, I had a Chinese epiphany

I thought I understood British culture. No amount of book reading or television watching could have prepared me for a seismic shift.

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A view of All Souls College of the University of Oxford. Photo: Shutterstock
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | I crave a sense of community. Is that my Chinese side talking?

AI chatbots can’t fufill a desire for connection that may have been passed down generations in a culture where community ties are treasured.

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Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | An ‘elegant’ English name would be all wrong for my Hong Kong baby

My daughter, a child of multiple cultures, needs a carefully chosen name in a city where racial difference is not seamlessly accepted.

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China society

Being Chinese | I escaped a Chinese guoxue ‘reading group’. My friend is less lucky

The trend of ‘national studies’ unsettled me. Packaged in Chinese symbols – robes, incense, ancient wisdom – much of it felt too commodified.

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People young and old pray at Yonghe Temple in Beijing on January 1. After three decades of modernisation, many urban Chinese are spiritually adrift, restless and unsure of where to anchor their values in a fast-changing world. Photo: EPA-EFE
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | What’s in a Singaporean Chinese name? It’s a long story

In the US, I’ve been assumed to be Taiwanese, mainland Chinese or Korean. It’s like watching people play charades using my business card.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Dating in the UK, Chinese auntie-style

Looking for a life partner as a 40-something Asian woman in the UK, I found success in unexpected ways.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | People laugh in my face when I say I’m Chinese. So what?

I don’t look Chinese. But it’s the tiny things, values and cultural touchpoints that collectively make a Chinese person Chinese.

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People walk past a mural of a Chinese letter writer in Chinatown in Singapore in February 2021. Photo: AFP
China society

Being Chinese | I’m not ‘lying flat’, just choosing a saner lifestyle than China’s 996

In China, work culture is shifting and companies are sending employees home earlier. I chose balance over fatigue before the tide turned.

A woman with a child attends a New Year’s Eve countdown yoga session at Singapore’s Marina Bay in 2016. Photo: Xinhua
Chinese tourists

Being Chinese | Once a Chinese frog in a well, I’m now living my travel dreams

When China opened up and millions went abroad, it influenced everything from fashion and cuisine to values and perspectives.

US-China relations

Being Chinese | I’m a Cannes-going Chinese showbiz producer. It’s fun – except when it isn’t

I make deals with international studios and platforms. Often, I face a wall of Western presumption about the Chinese way of doing things.

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Women and gender

Being Chinese | I identify as a Chinese auntie, cheapskate and busybody. Anyone else?

I revel in low prices and awkward questions. I’m finding that being a Chinese auntie overseas also means being part of an Asian sisterhood.

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A woman finds a use for a bus stop railing while running an errand in Sham Shui Po, Hong Kong, on October 20. Photo: Eugene Lee
Singapore

Being Chinese | In Singapore, my children are freer to be happy than I was in China

Having been through China’s pressure-cooker education system, I appreciate how Singapore balances Eastern discipline and Western creativity.

A girl touches a dinosaur model in the Singapore Zoo in 2016. Unlike the high-pressure environment in China, Singapore encourages children to explore their interests yet maintains high standards. Photo: Xinhua
Women and gender

Being Chinese | How far Chinese women have come since my grandmother’s time

I have more equal status than my grandmother did in the pre-communist era. But young women are still pushing back against discrimination.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | I look Chinese but don’t speak the language. Is that so bad?

I may be missing out on a deeper appreciation of the culture, but I’ve learned to live with it – thank goodness for translation apps.

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