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Being Chinese

Being Chinese
Being Chinese is an occasional column that contemplates and explores the cultural, existential and related aspects of Chinese experience, whether the writers are Chinese by birth, descent or osmosis.
A family carries on eating during a flood in Liling, Hunan province. Photo: AFP
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Talking when you eat is bad for you, and other Chinese beliefs

Beyond Confucian restraint and traditional medicine, my family has urgent rules for eating bony fish and steaming hot food.

Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | When a Chinese auntie met the right uncle

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Shenzhen

Being Chinese | Once, I was proud of the Shenzhen miracle. Now I’m not so sure

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Mainland China

Being Chinese | How to deal with this ‘very Chinese time’ in Western lives

The question is not whether outsiders are getting China or Chinese culture right, but what we choose to do with their attention.

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Foreign tourists in traditional Chinese costumes take photos near the Forbidden City in Beijing on April 16. Photo: AP
Asian diaspora

Being Chinese | 3 months in China became 10 years. Here’s why I stayed

My three-month China stint grew to 10 years, as predictability disappeared from my work around UK-China, EU-China and US-China relations.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Growing up Hakka, around a language that few dared to speak publicly

My relatives spoke Hakka, but behind closed doors. Imagine my surprise when I finally found myself in a public Hakka-speaking environment.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Chinese overseas need not keep to ourselves. I certainly don’t

Half of my close friends in London are Chinese; the other half are not. This balance did not happen by accident.

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People take selfies in front of the archway of Chinatown in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 2025. Photo: Xinhua
Chinese culture

Being Chinese | In New York, ‘Chinese’ doesn’t begin to capture our many tastes

In a somewhat unexpected way, moving to New York broadened my perspective on China’s vast linguistic and culinary differences.

China society

Being Chinese | In China, some of us are keeping elderly care in the family – for now

My extended family has taken time to reach a decision about my grandma’s daily care. As the rest of us age, I’m also preparing options.

Lunar New Year

Being Chinese | The great Chinese New Year divide and how I bridged it

After sitting through the Spring Festival Gala with mainland Chinese friends, I had to introduce them to a delightful ritual from Singapore.

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Children hold up calligraphy banners they have just received for Chinese New Year in Singapore on January 29, ahead of the holiday. Photo: Xinhua
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | I feel for young Hongkongers who say they are ‘from the UK’

Instead of mocking those who adopt a superficial Western identity, we might pause and ask: what pressure made them feel this was necessary?

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People cross London Bridge, with Tower Bridge in the background, in London in 2024. Photo: EPA-EFE
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | A Chinese Singaporean’s dilemma: should I change my surname?

My grandparents lost their original surnames by force of circumstance. Now that I have the luxury of choice, do I restore my family name?

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China society

Being Chinese | Where do lonely hearts in China go now? Late-night live streams

I was swiping past the noise on Douyin when a calm, warm voice stopped me. So began my evenings in the world of companionship live streams.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | In both China and the West, the art of parenting involves letting go

Grandpa, very much in the traditional mould, believed in toughening children up for the world. Mum, raising her only child, was not impressed.

A child rides a bicycle towards the Hong Kong skyline in 2011. Photo: AFP
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | The 30-word identity pitch of an overseas Chinese

To some, “Are you Chinese?” is a question about nationality. To others, it’s about ethnicity. To cover all bases, I’ve crafted a 30-word answer.

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A visitor views relics from China’s Bronze Age at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco in 2024. Photo: Xinhua
Women and gender

Being Chinese | Why Chinese women like me are done being quiet and ‘appropriate’

Chinese women are praised for gentleness. Our tone must please; our anger must be graceful. But a new generation is speaking out.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | A very Chinese funeral and all the things my family didn’t say

The Chinese have dizzyingly precise words for various family members, but families like mine express emotions through stoic suffering.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Looking for love in Shanghai, Chinese auntie-style

People’s Square is a ruthlessly efficient analogue of Tinder, run by elderly Chinese parents. I quickly learned about my own limits.

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Elderly parents display information about their children in the marriage market in People’s Square in Shanghai in 2020. Photo: EPA-EFE
Food and Drinks

Being Chinese | My food obsession has deep Chinese roots

The rationing era imprinted something on me – not just a craving for food, but a reverence. In Chinese culture, food is never just food.

China education

Being Chinese | How education in China has evolved, before my very eyes

Amid falling births and policy adjustments, education for one of my children is a more joyous experience than it has been for the other.

Chinese culture

Being Chinese | Life and finance lessons from my Hong Kong mahjong parties

I was a hit with my mahjong buddies because I didn’t play like a typical Chinese person. The years since have taught me better.

A player discards a tile during a session at the Hong Kong Mahjong Company. Photo: May Tse
China society

Being Chinese | Young Chinese are trying out the simple life. Am I missing out?

My generation has never known an economic slump lasting a number of years. Some friends are taking the opportunity to slow down.

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A view of Lieshen village in Chongqing on August 15. Photo: Xinhua
Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | Half a world away from Hong Kong, I had a Chinese epiphany

I thought I understood British culture. No amount of book reading or television watching could have prepared me for a seismic shift.

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Chinese culture

Being Chinese | I crave a sense of community. Is that my Chinese side talking?

AI chatbots can’t fufill a desire for connection that may have been passed down generations in a culture where community ties are treasured.

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Hong Kong society

Being Chinese | An ‘elegant’ English name would be all wrong for my Hong Kong baby

My daughter, a child of multiple cultures, needs a carefully chosen name in a city where racial difference is not seamlessly accepted.

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Young residents from diverse backgrounds holding new mainland travel permits return to Hong Kong in 2024, after a trip to Guangzhou and Foshan. Photo: Xiaomei Chen
China society

Being Chinese | I escaped a Chinese guoxue ‘reading group’. My friend is less lucky

The trend of ‘national studies’ unsettled me. Packaged in Chinese symbols – robes, incense, ancient wisdom – much of it felt too commodified.

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People young and old pray at Yonghe Temple in Beijing on January 1. After three decades of modernisation, many urban Chinese are spiritually adrift, restless and unsure of where to anchor their values in a fast-changing world. Photo: EPA-EFE
Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | What’s in a Singaporean Chinese name? It’s a long story

In the US, I’ve been assumed to be Taiwanese, mainland Chinese or Korean. It’s like watching people play charades using my business card.

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Chinese overseas

Being Chinese | Dating in the UK, Chinese auntie-style

Looking for a life partner as a 40-something Asian woman in the UK, I found success in unexpected ways.

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