Your Voice: How parents can support teens and earn their trust; benefits of volunteering in Hong Kong (long letters)

It can be incredibly frustrating for parents when their children ignore them or disregard their advice. This feeling can be intensified when the child dismisses their help, saying: “You do not understand me!”

As children enter adolescence and gain a deeper understanding of the world, their emotional responses to different issues can become highly charged. Teenagers experience a variety of challenges, such as a heavy workload from school, confusing relationships with peers and difficulties with academic performance.

A seemingly small action or comment from a parent can become a serious issue in the eyes of the teenager, as they often have high expectations of their parents.

When teenagers attempt to share their life experiences and feelings with their parents, they may find that their parents do not have the same understanding or emotional response. Teens may think that their parents do not understand them.

Help! How do I deal with my strict family?

When they open up and share their struggles with their parents, it is essential that they receive validation and support. If they do not, they may become discouraged and turn only to their peers for advice. Friends, who often know what it is like to go through similar experiences, can provide a deeper level of understanding and empathy, which can lead young people to trust peers over their parents.

It may be challenging to improve relationships between parents and teenagers, but it is important to take action instead of doing nothing.

Parents should make an effort to understand what their children are going through. This includes understanding if they are facing difficulty with exams, or having problems in their relationships. By taking the time to understand their children’s feelings and thoughts, parents can offer meaningful comfort and advice.

Secondly, parents should give compliments regularly to provide their teenagers with acceptance and validation. This will help teenagers feel loved, fostering a trusting relationship between parents and children. When teens trust their parents, they will be more likely to open up and share their feelings.

Thirdly, parents should support their teenagers’ interests and dreams. As young people grow and develop, they form their own emotions and personalities, which can lead to them developing various interests and ambitions.

If parents do not accept and support these interests, this can leave teenagers feeling alone and misunderstood, and the relationship between them can suffer. Even if parents are worried about the potential difficulties connected to their children’s dreams or interests, they should still strive to support them in pursuing their goals.

How do I get my parents to stop comparing me to other people?

Liew Weizi, Discovery College

As of 2022, the Legislative Council’s Welfare Services said there were 1,580 registered street sleepers in Hong Kong. It’s estimated that the actual number of homeless people is much higher, as many street sleepers are not registered with the government. Some underprivileged people are forced into homelessness because of the uninhabitable conditions of subdivided flats, adding to this number.

The pandemic restrictions further exacerbated the homelessness situation, as people faced unemployment and economic hardship. The closure of 24-hour restaurants also took away safe shelter for homeless people. Even as restrictions have eased, underprivileged people are still vulnerable.

Sunshine Action is a non-profit organisation which is one of the many charities dedicated to helping the impoverished population. Started by volunteers, its activities include packing and distributing food packs to those in poverty.

Nearly 1 in 4 young Hongkongers from low-income families ‘lying flat’, feeling hopeless

Sunny Mak, the founder of Sunshine Action, stresses the importance of helping others without judging them. Mak told me that everyone is bound to make mistakes, so no one has the right to judge others for the decisions they make. What’s important is helping with an open and empathetic heart.

As a student, volunteering is one of the most fulfilling ways to spend one’s time. It allows you to actively make a difference within your community by stepping out of the comfortable bubble you live in, thus becoming a productive member of society.

Volunteers sacrifice their time and energy to enrich the lives of others, which is the most gratifying experience of all. It’s easy to get caught up in the fast-paced lifestyle of our city and forget that there are people who need support, so extending a helping hand and using one’s privilege to give back, especially as a student, is a valuable opportunity. Witnessing the less glamorous and often ignored parts of society is also an extremely sobering experience.

Cyrus Lai, a 16-year-old student ambassador for Sunshine Action, said that volunteering taught him to cherish his privilege, but has also educated him about the underlying issues of Hong Kong’s poverty crisis.

At Sunshine, the action of helping is one thing, but volunteers genuinely connect with the people they are serving by engaging in conversation with them. Anyone can distribute food packets without actually caring about the people they’re helping. However, promoting dialogue builds relationships that are beneficial to both volunteers and those in need, adding another dimension of importance to the work being done.

Another ambassador, Shawn Wang, also 16, believes that aside from helping the community, volunteering develops real-world skills and experience. Students learn how to communicate with others and build soft skills. They also get to interact with students from various backgrounds who come together with one goal: to help others.

Feeling called to action? Want to make a difference? Join Sunshine Action – or volunteer at your local charity – and make a change today!