- One psychologist explains the link between being emotionally tired and physical fatigue and why Hongkongers might be more prone to it
- Every week, Talking Points gives you a worksheet to practise your reading comprehension with questions and exercises about the story we’ve written
Emotional exhaustion can be just as devastating as physical exhaustion and displays many of the same symptoms. Photo: ShutterstockExhaustion is generally thought of in purely physical terms, but there is another dimension to exhaustion that is often overlooked. Young Post spoke to Charlotte Wong, a counselling psychologist, who explained the link between emotional tiredness and physical fatigue and why Hongkongers might be more prone to it.
Emotional fatigue is a state in which we feel overwhelmed and stuck in intense situations for an extended period. It is similar to being physically tired, except this affects a person’s mind instead of their muscles – though their body may also feel drained and lethargic, even after long nights of sleep.
Wong, who owns a private counselling practice in Hong Kong, explained: “Emotional fatigue is built up over time by multiple stressors. When a person is caught in this state, their emotions are not digested properly, and they may experience irritability, absent-mindedness and a sense of pessimism.”
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Those experiencing emotional fatigue often feel like they have no control over what happens in life and are trapped in a stressful situation. And being stuck in a stressed-out state for a long time can affect your mental and physical health.
Wong also pointed out that our culture could influence our emotions and how we express them. For example, research has found that the Chinese community is more prone to experiencing somatisation – a phenomenon in which negative emotions are experienced through physical symptoms – than in other communities. Instead of directly feeling and expressing emotional distress, Chinese people tend to report physical symptoms instead. These symptoms can include tiredness, sleep disturbances, chronic joint pain, back and limb pain, and a change in appetite.
She also shed light on why Hongkongers are more likely to experience emotional fatigue. “Teenagers in Hong Kong don’t learn about emotions in school, especially about self-empathy and ways to recognise how they feel. As such, they lack the vocabulary to help them make sense of their emotional needs,” she said, adding that Hong Kong’s education system tended to focus on tangible accomplishments, such as academic and athletic achievements.
A person’s upbringing also has an impact on how they process their emotions. For instance, parents in Asian families often have difficulty accepting their feelings and tend to minimise or invalidate children’s emotions, which only makes the problem worse. “Common adult responses to teens who feel overwhelmed are: ‘Stop crying, there’s no need to cry.’ or ‘Showing your sadness is a sign of weakness.’ When emotions become taboo, teenagers don’t feel safe enough to express themselves and don’t learn how to process difficult emotions,” Wong said.
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This results in teens bottling up their feelings, leading to further stress and emotional fatigue.
Putting effort into processing anxiety and anger is not simply an indulgence, but a necessity. Wong offered the example of a teenager feeling sad about being misunderstood and excluded by a group of friends, explaining that crying out loud and venting one’s frustration could help alleviate emotional distress and prevent a person from spiralling into emotional fatigue.
“Even though crying once or twice may exhaust you, this does not translate to emotional fatigue. In fact, if you look behind those tears, you will see a yearning for an intimate connection and take the actions required to sort out any misunderstandings and patch things up with your friends. Taking this action transforms your emotional distress into positive feelings,” she said.
To avoid emotional fatigue, you must first adopt a welcoming and accepting attitude towards negative emotions. Start by naming and writing down what you are experiencing and identify the triggers of these feelings – what brought up these emotions in the first place? Then, tend to the needs communicated by the emotions. Don’t forget to give yourself a compassionate hug while working on the issue!
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Wong highlighted the importance of self-compassion and suggested keeping a mood journal, since it could help you check in with yourself and be on alert for symptoms of emotional exhaustion.
“Emotional fatigue is not something to be ashamed of. In the same way that we tend to our sore muscles after a run, we also need to take care of our mind and allow it to rest and restore after going through intense emotions.”
Click here to download a printable worksheet with questions and exercises about this story. Answers are on the second page of the document.