Asking for a Friend: Help! My classmates tease me for being short. What should I do?
- Each week, we respond to a question from our readers and give advice and resources they can turn to
- This week, we help a student who keeps being bothered for their height
No one deserves to be teased, and you should feel comfortable standing up for yourself. Photo: ShutterstockNeed an answer to a personal question that you’ve never mustered the courage to ask? We’ve been there. Whether it is about school, family issues or social life, share your thoughts with us. If you have a question you’d like answered (about anything at all), please fill out this Google Form. Don’t worry – you will remain anonymous!
Dear Friend,
My classmates always tease me and call me “shorty” because l am short. It really upsets me, but I don’t know how to react without them making fun of me even more. What should l do?
Sincerely, Teased
Dear Teased,
It is courageous of you to reach out for help. It can be very upsetting to be teased like this. It can make us focus on a trait that we may want to ignore, hide, or overcome, and it gives the false impression that this trait is the only thing that represents us.
Being teased can lead to a range of mixed emotions; we may feel hurt, embarrassed, annoyed, frustrated, lost, and excluded.
You can also feel bad afterwards. You could be anxious about the next teasing incident, self-conscious of the trait that led to the teasing, and have low self-worth. Since it’s usually impossible to change the trait in a short period of time – for example, you can’t grow a metre overnight – you can start to feel helpless.
My friend cheats off me in class. What should I do?
Remember that a person is not defined by one single thing. Being short does not represent who you are; it is just one of your many aspects at this age.
A person’s height is just one element of their physical appearance, and physical appearance is just one of their many characteristics. While your classmates pay attention to your height, you can shift your focus to your abilities, knowledge, values, hobbies, intelligence, personality traits, experiences, relationships, or cultural background.
Although your classmates make it seem bad, being short can have several advantages. For example, shorter people can change directions more quickly, move through tight spaces more easily, and have better balance; it goes without saying that some of these abilities are beneficial in certain sports.
Every trait has its strengths and weaknesses. Your traits make you unique, and you can focus on your positive qualities and the characteristics you are proud of.
It is natural to be upset about being teased. Ignore those classmates and walk away; if you don’t give them your attention, it could discourage them from continuing since they aren’t getting a reaction from you.
If you feel comfortable, you can talk to them about your thoughts and feelings and ask them to stop. Sometimes, people may not realise how hurtful their behaviours and words are.
You can also talk to a trusted friend, family member, or teacher who could give you support and advice. If the teasing gets worse, you can report it to your teachers, school authorities, or student counsellors.
Remember that it is not your fault you’re being teased and that you deserve to be treated with respect.
Hope that helps, Friend of a Friend
This question was answered by San Hung, a counselling psychologist in private practice in Hong Kong.