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Ashlyn Chak

Kylie Knott

Mabel Lui

International Women’s Day, which falls each year on March 8, is a global celebration not just of the achievements of women but also their resilience, something that resonates with working mothers everywhere.
Juggling a career with family commitments can be overwhelming. Stress, burnout and feelings of “mum guilt” are common among women trying to achieve work-life balance.
Add to that societal expectations and stereotypes, double standards around domestic workloads, the gender pay gap and the challenges of finding childcare.
Statutory paid maternity leave in Hong Kong is also relatively short – in December 2020 it was increased from 10 weeks to 14 to meet minimum United Nations International Labour Organization standards.
It lags far behind other jurisdictions such as Bulgaria (58.6 weeks), Greece (43 weeks) and Britain (39 weeks).
Three Hong Kong-based women open up about the pros and cons of being a working mum.

Abby Cadman
“Adapt, adjust, tweak” is a mantra Abby Cadman leans into many times while juggling two companies and two children under the age of five, with a third due this month.
Cadman, who runs catering and events firms Relish and Gingers under the umbrella of Feste Group, knows a fair bit about stress: she acquired Relish in 2019, just before months of street protests began in Hong Kong, and had her first child in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic.
For Cadman, 35, work-family balance does not exist. There are only extremes.
“You’re either neglecting your kids, and then getting ‘mum guilt’ because you haven’t seen them in days, or you’re dealing with work stress like waiting for a client to pay so you can pay the wages,” she says.
You have these moments of like, ‘I’m going crazy – is it worth it’?
Abby Cadman
“You’re constantly juggling this stuff behind the scenes and not letting the team know that you’re stressed.
“So it’s like, OK, I’m letting my team down, I’m letting my family down, and I’m miserable and I’m not sleeping.”
Added to the mix, she says, are the challenges of maintaining a marriage.
“You have these moments of like, ‘I’m going crazy – is it worth it’?
“But then, the following week, you get a breakthrough, or you have an amazing event, and you can step back, have a couple of days with the kids and recharge, and you’re like, ‘OK, yes, I can do this. It is going to be worth it’.”

Cadman says resilience is in her DNA. Her parents were political refugees from Albania in southern Europe, where her father was a cardiologist. The family had to start over in Australia after moving there in the mid 1990s when Cadman was six.
“They didn’t know the language and started from nothing, working hard to get their qualifications recognised again … When I look at what they went through, I don’t have an excuse.”
As for advice for her unborn baby girl, Cadman says there is no magic bullet that fixes everything, and you have to be prepared to sacrifice something.
“I would tell her that you can have it all, but at different times – you can’t have it all at once.”
Being pregnant in the workplace has its own set of challenges, she adds.
“I don’t like being in meetings and being seen heavily pregnant because people immediately know something intimate about you,” she says.
“If you’re having a meeting about a big contract that you’re doing in a couple of months, and those involved see that you’re about to have a baby, they wonder whether you are going to be part of the deal, so you have to adjust your tactics and your negotiations.”
Kylie Knott

Sarah Vee
For Sarah Vee, the founder of the networking community Women of Hong Kong, the difficult decisions and mental fortitude that came with being a working mother started when her son, now 14 years old, was still in the womb.
At the time she was 20 years old, and had returned to Hong Kong to work after dropping out of university in the Philippines. She was three months into an accidental pregnancy when a friend of her son’s father called to try to discourage her from going through with it, saying her career would suffer.
“It was almost [like he was] mansplaining to me what it would be like to raise a son or a child,” she says. But that was not all. “I remember being told, ‘If you keep this child, no one’s going to date you.’ As if that’s my life’s purpose!
“I believe that was the start of me mentally realising the world wasn’t built to cater to women,” she says.
I’m already a minority, a single mum, I didn’t finish college and I didn’t want to add another tag to my shirt.
Sarah Vee on why she stayed in an abusive relationship
After Vee decided to keep her child, her first priority was figuring out how to earn enough money to keep herself and her future son afloat. She started a now-defunct brand called Shoes by Sarah Vee, and then became an events organiser and marketer for the restaurant group Maximal Concepts after her son was born.
In the years immediately following the birth of her son, Vee also dealt with bouts of postnatal depression, and felt guilty for being exhausted. As a young single mother she felt judged and insecure, and at one point found herself in a toxic relationship that turned abusive.
“I’m already a minority, a single mum, I didn’t finish college and I didn’t want to add another tag to my shirt. I didn’t want to make any more noise about myself, so I kept it in,” she says. “It went on for four years, and it got worse every time.
“It takes away your soul, and you just wake up and you just operate. You don’t think about yourself any more. You’re just trying to survive. You’re just trying to live.”
Thankfully, she had the enduring support of her family, who never once judged her. And over the years, the caretaking help that Vee received from her mother and domestic helpers allowed her to be successful in her career.
Please don’t be afraid to speak up. It might not be easy, but it is that simple. Don’t overthink it.
Sarah Vee’s advice to mothers who are struggling
When she worked late nights, her family would put her son to bed first; when she was still in the toxic relationship, her son often stayed at her parents’ house.
Today, Vee and her son live in their own flat, which they share with her partner, the Muay Thai champion Jeferson Oliveira. Now the entrepreneur says she is much more present as a mother – every day, she cooks lunch for her son, and they bond by playing games together.
If she has any advice for struggling mothers, it is this: “Please don’t be afraid to speak up. It’s just that short and simple. It might not be easy, but it is that simple. Don’t overthink it. Don’t be afraid of it.
“Your voice gets you the help you need, but also encourages someone to get the help that they need.”
Mabel Lui

Anri Shiga
“I like to think I’m a fun mum and that my kids see my passion for what I do, [that I] take it very seriously and always try to improve myself. I still study and go on training,” says freelance yoga teacher and mother of two Anri Shiga.
Born in Hokkaido, northern Japan, Shiga used to teach yoga at a large Hong Kong studio, where she worked “all day from 7am to 10pm” and “wouldn’t really be able to see my kids”. In the late 2010s, after her second child, a daughter, was born, she switched to freelance work.
“Now I have more flexibility and only work during the day when my kids are at school. I’m normally done by five o’clock,” she says.
Shiga, who moved to Hong Kong from the UK in 2003, is an active parent and involved in the day-to-day lives of her children. But she underlines that she could not do what she does without the support of the family’s domestic helper, Gretchen Ang, who “is very motivated and just understands what is needed” in different situations.
Until age five and six it was a bit of a struggle, because they were babies
Anri Shiga on child-raising while pursuing a career
“Greta [Ang] is a wonderful part of our family who can step in when I’m not there and keep our kids happy and safe. We really value her very much.”
Shiga adds that many of her Japan- and UK-based friends who teach yoga and manage studios struggle to make time for childcare.
“The only time they can work is when the children are at school. But what if they get sick? What if they can’t go to school? What if the school is closed? In situations like that, they really have to prioritise their children.”
For her, emergencies like this are when her support system kicks in.
Although both she and her husband work relatively flexible hours, childcare is 24/7 and she is thankful for Ang’s help in juggling responsibilities, especially since her son, eight, and seven-year-old daughter were born only 14 months apart.

“They do everything together, go to the same school and have the same friends. Until age five and six it was a bit of a struggle, because they were babies and I had to take care of them a lot more.”
“Greta has two boys and one girl back in the Philippines, so she understands what it’s like to have that chaos in the house,” Shiga adds.
These days, she and Ang take turns to take the children to school each day, while Shiga likes to take responsibility for cooking lunch and dinner whenever she can.
She says: “It’s great that Greta is also super organised, very flexible and can handle changes. I feel very fortunate that I can trust her fully to make the right decision on my behalf when I’m at work.”
Ashlyn Chak


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Anri Shiga, a working mum in Hong Kong, with her children. She and others describe the challenges of balancing childcare and career. Photo: Edmond So

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Sarah Vee, founder of Women of Hong Kong, at The Women’s Lounge in Central. Photo: Jonathan Wong

Anri Shiga (right) with her daughter Amelie Etherington, son Luca Etherington and helper Gretchen Ang in Discovery Bay, Hong Kong. Photo: Edmond So

Anri Shiga takes turns with the family’s helper, Gretchen Ang, to take the children to school. She appreciates Ang’s flexibility. Photo: Edmond So

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Lifestyle

Family & Relationships

International Women’s Day is on March 8. We speak to three Hong Kong working mums on the challenges of juggling a career and family


International Women’s Day is on March 8. We speak to three Hong Kong working mums on the challenges of juggling a career and family.


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