Homesick Filipino migrants count cost of separation for a ‘better’ future

For more than a decade, Jeffrey Ongoco has watched much of his daughter’s childhood unfold through a screen. The 46-year-old, who works as a document controller for a construction company in Doha, left the Philippines in 2007 for a job in Saudi Arabia before moving to Qatar in 2010. He and his wife work in Doha to support their 16-year-old daughter, who has lived in the Philippines since infancy, cared for by relatives in Bataan province, about 130km (80 miles) northwest of Manila. It was a sacrifice the couple felt they had to make to give her a better life. “As parents, we don’t want our kids to experience the hardships we had before. So even if it’s very difficult for parents to be away from their children, we will do everything we can for their future,” Ongoco said. Being away from your family is never easy Jeffrey Ongoco, overseas Filipino worker Their story reflects the tough trade-off in the lives of many overseas Filipino workers (OFWs): the chance to earn more abroad, but often at the cost of years spent away from the people they left home to support. A survey in January by US-based remittance firm Remitly of more than 3,000 migrants across 21 countries found that Filipinos reported the strongest feelings of homesickness, at 96.15 per cent, followed by those from South Africa, Canada, Mexico and Brazil. For Ongoco, those feelings have never really faded. Although he and his wife try to see their daughter every year, wage delays have forced them to stretch the time between visits. “Since we experienced delays in our wages at our company, we have been forced to make the trip home every two years. Sometimes my wife and I would take turns going home so we have more money to save and bring home to the Philippines. Flight tickets are so expensive if it’s the two of us,” he said. “Being away from your family is never easy, especially when you’ve left a baby behind. During her growing-up years, she would always tell us that she wished we were by her side, especially when she was starting school and would see her classmates with their parents.” OFW experience Ongoco’s experience mirrors that of many OFWs, who make up one of the world’s most visible diasporas. The Middle East alone hosts more than 2 million Filipino workers, most of them concentrated in the United Arab Emirates and Saudi Arabia. While distance from home often means missing food, festivals and familiar routines, Remitly’s survey suggests the deepest absence felt by the workers is family-related. “For most, it’s the people they love that they miss more than anything else,” the company wrote on its website, adding that 80 per cent said they longed to be with family members the most, followed by close friends at 62 per cent. “Having close ones nearby to hang out with, lean on for support or make memories with is so important and being far away, especially in different time zones, can bring on feelings of sadness, anxiety and loneliness,” it added. Nearly half reported that homesickness could surface without warning, while 53 per cent said this could be triggered by speaking to friends or family members. When going through a tough time, half of them felt homesick, while 43 per cent said they experienced it during holidays and festivals. For Ongoco, some of the hardest moments came when work kept him away from family milestones, including his daughter’s graduation. “Those are the times that it’s hard being a parent. You can’t promise your child you will be there for an important milestone because you’re away and there are no guarantees that you can file for leave,” he said. “There were times that we thought about going back home to the Philippines for good as being together would make us all happier, but we need to consider providing for the family. We needed to make our child understand that we were doing this for her future. Thankfully, she understood.” Despite the emotional cost of separation, Filipinos continue to face a mixture of pressure and motivation when deciding whether a parent or breadwinner should work abroad, according to Yvan Ysmael Yonaha, a Filipino sociologist of work pursuing his doctoral degree at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. “There may be better opportunities for advancement overseas, including better pay or a chance to migrate. But economic necessity remains a huge factor for many Filipino families, and going abroad to work may seem like a good option to navigate all the economic uncertainties,” Yonaha said. He added that the strong presence of OFWs stemmed from Manila’s decades-long policy of supporting the outflow, to which businesses adjusted accordingly. Recent findings showed overseas remittances contributed 7 per cent of the country’s gross domestic product last year. “For nursing, this meant the emergence of recruitment agencies and private schools meant for training nurses to meet foreign demand,” Yonaha said. Citing the work of Singapore-based migration researcher Yasmin Ortiga, he said Philippine educational institutions had been redesigned to meet the overseas expectations for OFWs. But the same system that prepares Filipinos for overseas demand also leaves families trying to preserve intimate roles across a distance. “Scholars have noted how Filipino domestic workers, for example, continue to parent their children using a combination of digital tools and gifts,” Yonaha said, adding that qualitative differences existed between physical presence and online availability. For OFWs like Ongoco, online calls have become a way to fulfil their duties as parents even while abroad, but he admits there are limits to this approach. “One time we were talking to our child over video call, she was crying because her tooth was aching and we just listened to her fall asleep from her cries,” he said. “It was so painful to watch her and we couldn’t do anything to help relieve her pain.” Yonaha said the Philippines’ social and institutional arrangements continued to encourage Filipinos to believe that working abroad was key to a good life. This included active agreements with specific countries to ensure the protection of OFWs, as well as regulations governing the deployment of overseas workers, such as domestic workers, nurses and seafarers. “The ubiquity of these institutions, the volume of Filipinos already working abroad and the perception of limited opportunities at home could promote the option of going abroad,” he said. “Both the government and the private sector have geared Filipinos towards the global market.” For Ongoco, however, the sacrifices throughout the years have been worth it, with their daughter now due to join them in Doha. “We just need to believe and have faith,” he said.

Homesick Filipino migrants count cost of separation for a ‘better’ future

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Economic necessity has forced Filipino migrants like Jeffrey Ongoco to spend years away from the people they left home to support

Economic necessity has forced Filipino migrants like Jeffrey Ongoco to spend years away from the people they left home to support