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Phoebe Zhang

In China, the pressure on women to marry is deadly serious

Wedding-day death of Henan teacher highlights desperation of young women caught between modern hopes and traditional expectations

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Some people in China are sharing AI-generated videos of middle-aged single women crying in hospitals, regretting their choice not to marry or have children. Photo: SCMP composite / Shutterstock / Douyin
Phoebe Zhang is a senior reporter with the South China Morning Post.

For 11 years after graduating from high school, a 28-year-old woman from a village in Lushan county in the central Chinese province of Henan had fought against pressure from her parents to get married. By her own account, the woman, locally reported as Wei and a history teacher at Lushan’s top high school, had quarrelled, “gone crazy” and even made threats with a knife.

Her fight ended on December 10, when she wrote her last post on WeChat and jumped from the seventh floor of what was to be her marital home. It was her wedding day. “I have completed the biggest task of my life,” she wrote in what has come to be seen as her suicide note.

Reports of her death went viral. Many criticised her parents but many also wondered why such a young woman would choose suicide. As one comment said: “It’s just not worth it.” Another said it was “shocking that in today’s highly open, gender-equal and materially wealthy Chinese society, the tragedy of suicide to escape marriage still exists”, suggesting that Wei, despite having a decent career and better prospects than many of her peers, had yet to learn to be independent and speak up for herself.

Difficult as it may be to believe that women, especially educated women with good jobs, are being forced to marry, it still happens and the pressure is intense. I have several friends with master’s degrees whose well-to-do families still demand they marry.
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