appConfigEntityId

bodyType

customContents

entityId

entityUuid

isVideo

articlePageQuery

article

articleSchemaContent

content

hooksArticlePageAdvertisementConfigArticle

hooksArticlePageFloatingButtonConfigArticle

appConfig

filter

json

liveArticle

Joy Liu

Last week, a friend suggested something unexpected: “Why not invite our husbands to see the Chinese feminist movie Her Story?” Everyone agreed and we watched the film as a group. Afterwards, we discussed the movie as men and women sharing perspectives, in a way I had rarely experienced before.
Throughout my 26 years in China, open discussions about gender that involve both men and women have been nearly nonexistent. The only other time I had a real conversation like this was, unexpectedly, with my father.
One evening, as we walked along the river after dinner, my father hesitated before speaking. “I raised you without gender expectations,” he began. “But at a recent business dinner, someone said I should have taught you that family matters most for women. Now, I wonder if I did the right thing.”
His vulnerability caught me off guard. For the first time, we discussed his fears, my dreams and my values. I deeply appreciated his non-biased way of raising me. Now, he proudly tells me how he challenges people who hold traditional gender values while advocating for diverse life choices. However, I couldn’t help but wonder: why are these moments of connection so rare?
While such moments of connection bring hope, the dominant conversation around gender plays out online – and in a much more divisive way. In 2020, the comedian Yang Li brought gender issues to the centre of China’s public discourse with a controversial line: “How can he look so average and still have so much confidence?”
The show on which she made that joke garnered about 100 million views per episode on average. That single sentence caused an uproar on social media, sparking a “gender war” that has only intensified since then.


Now, each time I open a Chinese social media platform, I see at least one heated exchange, ostensibly between men and women, flooding with thousands of comments where users hurl insults back and forth. The most famous example might be Ke Jie, once the best Go player in the world, abandoning his Weibo account after being called “the No 1 enemy of feminists in China” by thousands of feminists.
Online, it seems that men and women shout from opposite cliffs, their debates filled with anger and blame. Offline, there is a deafening silence – real conversations are almost nonexistent.
This disconnect is a critical issue. Online activism has its place but with the lack of in-person discussions, we risk deepening the divide. Research shows that social media algorithms might prioritise sensational content, making extreme views more visible.
As a result, people retreat into echo chambers where their biases are reinforced, leaving little room for empathy or compromise. This cycle isn’t unique to gender debates. It’s part of the same dynamic that fuels political polarisation around the world. The speed and brevity of dominant social media platforms exacerbate this. Conversations about complex issues like gender equality need space and nuance that online platforms rarely provide.
Why can’t conversations like the one with my father happen more often, and in more structured ways, so that we wouldn’t have to rely on a rare, candid moment such as a warm night on which a father is willing to open up about his fears after a few drinks? Between online conflict and offline silence, we need space for in-person dialogue.


Maybe men could ask questions like my father did: “This is what I heard; this is how I feel – what do you think?” Simple, honest conversations like this can break down barriers and create real understanding.
Women could invite their male partners, friends or colleagues into these discussions. It could start with something small, like watching a movie together and then talking about it. These moments don’t need to be perfect; they just need to happen.
Activists have an even bigger role to play. Feminist leaders could move beyond online debates and women-only events by creating mixed-gender offline spaces for dialogue. For example, instead of the banners on university campuses around International Women’s Day that started with good intentions but sometimes devolved into harassment, why not promote collaborative workshops that challenge stereotypes and foster mutual understanding?
Countries that are well along their feminism journey offer good examples, from Australia’s respectful relationships programme to Singapore’s nationwide gender conversations that involved nearly 6,000 participants over 160 sessions.
If we step out from behind our screens, we can create a real space where both sides feel heard – and maybe, one day, understood.


Style Edit: YDC 2026 spotlights Hong Kong’s fashion trailblazers

Indian transgender patients left in limbo following legal amendments

Why women in China are still at risk of abduction and forced marriage

South Africa on alert after seventh woman’s body found near capital

Women and gender

China’s gender conversations must go offline to empower everyone

Online activism has its place but a lack of in-person discussion risks deepening the divide on gender. Photo: Shutterstock

China influencer calls on male friends to wear Adam’s apple ‘bras’ to champion rights of women

An online influencer in China has called on her   male friends to wear Adam’s apple ‘bras’ to champion women’s rights, gaining widespread support.
Photo: SCMP composite/Douyin

The Adam’s apple chokers come made of different materials and in different colours. Photo: qq.com

The online influencer believes her “bras” can help empower women. Photo: Shutterstock 

China is facing an ongoing gender imbalance problem. The country has millions more men than women. Photo: Shutterstock

Funny China ‘monkey men’ who make women laugh become popular dating type

Matchmakers in China say women in increasing numbers are opting for humorous so-called monkey men when it comes dating. Photo: SCMP composite/Shutterstock

Women in China appear to be more inclined to date a fit man who makes them laugh. Photo: Shutterstock

Dating experts say today’s women want an energetic man with a sunny personality. Photo: Shutterstock

While marriage rates drop in China, matchmaking events, like the one above, remain popular. Photo: Shutterstock

Women show worth on company boards

HKEX CEO Bonnie Chan Yiting said companies are making progress on appointing women to their boards. Photo: Jonathan Wong

Asean panel shows split views on gender equality

Aide Et Action Education Foundation Ltd

Japan’s ruling LDP to resume talks on selective dual surname system for married couples

A young couple in traditional Japanese clothing in Tokyo, Japan. Photo: Shutterstock

Hiroshi Moriyama, secretary general of Japan’s ruling Liberal Democratic Party. Photo: Kyodo

A couple poses during a wedding photo shoot at the Marunouchi business district as the landmark Tokyo Station is seen in the background, in Tokyo in December 2024. Photo: AFP

A couple walks over Shibuya crossing. A June 2023 poll by the Mainichi newspaper revealed that 57 per cent of respondents favoured a system allowing couples to choose separate surnames. Photo: Getty Images

Opinion

China Opinion

News

World

China

Culture

Much of China’s gender debate happens on online platforms that simply don’t offer the space and nuance needed for such a complex issue


Much of China’s gender debate happens on online platforms that simply don’t offer the space and nuance needed for such a complex issue.


Social media

Gender

Diversity and inclusion

Families in China

Feminism

Expresses the views, ideas and conclusions of the author. (Eg. Enough of Crazy Rich Asians, think of crazy poor Hongkongers.)


China’s gender conversations must go offline to empower everyone

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Much of China’s gender debate happens on online platforms that simply don’t offer the space and nuance needed for such a complex issue

Much of China’s gender debate happens on online platforms that simply don’t offer the space and nuance needed for such a complex issue