EdTalk | Let children learn through experiencing natural consequences

Most parents want the best for their children and do all they can to make their children’s lives as easy and comfortable as possible. While all this comes from a place of love, it can sometimes mean a child misses out on the important lessons that experiencing natural consequences can teach them.

Natural consequences refer to the positive or negative effects that follow on from a child’s decision. They are not imposed by the parent; rather, the parent allows society, nature or other people to impose whatever consequences occur “naturally” as a result of the child’s behaviour – and do so without interfering. A simple example might be that of a child who refuses to eat a meal. If he is allowed to skip the meal, he then learns that his refusal to eat has left him feeling hungry.

Natural consequences should be allowed to take their course within a given context. They should be related to the situation; respectful – not causing any sort of humiliation or shame; and reasonable for the child’s age.

This is in contrast with logical consequences, which are set and imposed by the parent. Logical consequences come into play when there is a risk of danger to the child or when the child’s actions are affecting others. For example, a child might have her bike taken away if she continually rides in the street when instructed not to do so.

Logical consequences are often easier for parents to impose as they typically result from trying to stop a child engaging in cruel, destructive, dangerous or antisocial activities.

Allowing natural consequences to take their course can feel like a counter-intuitive parenting choice. Most parents would rather step in to save their child from a potentially negative experience. But such experiences can be valuable; they teach children that their choices come with consequences, which in turn encourages responsibility, forward planning, and self-sufficiency.