In Japan, ‘friendship marriages’ provide partnership outside societal norms
More couples are choosing such an option despite it contradicting their sexual orientation, citing reasons such as social security benefits
Three years have passed since Satsuki and Minato, who are in their 30s and live in the Chugoku region of western Japan, agreed to enter into a nonsexual “friendship marriage”.
The matrimony of the two, who in a recent interview used pseudonyms when sharing their life-changing decision, was deliberate and different from a marriage arrangement done to obtain a visa, for example.
But Satsuki and Minato are just one of a growing number of couples who see practical advantages to friendship marriages due in part to preferential treatment with social security benefits. Many of them choose to do so despite it contradicting their sexual orientation.
A Tokyo-based marriage agency, which connects people wishing to enter into such arrangements, has seen more than 300 friendship marriages in the past decade. The case of Satsuki and Minato provides one example of a couples’ decision to choose a life partner with whom they have no romantic feelings or sexual desire.
Satsuki, Minato’s wife, dates women and is not attracted to men. Her mother, who has no idea of her daughter’s sexual orientation, used to urge her to get married whenever they would see each other.
Satsuki says The Full-Time Wife Escapist, a TV drama series aired in 2016 on Japan’s TBS, introduced her to the idea of viewing married couples as an “employer-employee”, contractual relationship, opening her mind to marriage not based on sex or love.