Opinion | MasterChef wannabes and the wildly implausible meals they ‘whip up’ at home – this foodie one-upmanship is not for me
- Foodie millennials trying to one-up each other with gastronomical miracles they just ‘whip up’ on the regular? Get me out of this party
- All this talk of ‘bruising’ herbs, ‘sun-ripened’ tomatoes – as if anything else could – and creating something magical. Why does anyone think it’s impressive?
I’m at a party and have been cornered by millennial gastro-bores. Foodies. I can be a bit of a foodie when the mood takes me, but this conversation, lubricated by alcohol and endless repeats of MasterChef, is getting out of control and making me want to Instagram vomit.
Predictably, the group are trying to impress each other with wildly implausible meals – stuff they just “whip up” on a regular Tuesday night at home with the kids.
Yeah, right.
I happen to know that one of the millennials is single and I know exactly what single millennials eat. Strangely though, he is not saying, “I like ham ’n’ pineapple Paisanos pizza and sometimes, when I’m feeling adventurous, I might add some extra pineapple.”
Oh no! He is discussing the benefits of tearing fresh herbs, as opposed to chopping them. He is keeping a straight face while doing this and using words such as “bruising”, which, incidentally, is what I’d quite like to do to his face.
Everyone, except me, seems to have adopted menu language without realising it’s just a marketing trick. Saying “pan-fried chicken breast” will not impress me, Bucko. You are talking about chicken fried IN A PAN. Probably a frying pan. How sexy does “frying pan” sound?