Why listening can heal, connect, even transform relationships, as long as you do it right
In her book Kiku: The Japanese Art of Good Listening, Haru Yamada issues a call to action – to be quiet and exercise active listening
In an age punctuated by constant chatter and phone notifications, Japanese-American author Haru Yamada hopes to get people to do something radical: just to listen.
For London-based Yamada, a sociolinguist who studies how society and culture shape language use, the idea grew not only from decades of research but from an experience that brought her close to silence.
She was in the intensive care unit of a London hospital recovering from an accident that was going to take away her ability to hear, when she learned to really listen.
“I was able to heal not only through the medical interventions of surgeries, lung drains, IVs and artificial ventilators, but also through the support of listeners,” she says.
“The light-bulb moment came when I realised that the benefit of listening lies not only in receiving information, but in the energy of connection we experience when we witness one another in relationship.”
This sparked the idea for her new book, Kiku: The Japanese Art of Good Listening, which explores how to listen – kiku, in Japanese – can heal, connect and transform relationships.