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Tribune News Service

Better sleep, less stress, stronger immune system – are these the results of a better diet? Or maybe exercise?
It is just from “good sex”, says Candice Hargons, a psychologist and professor at Emory University, in the US state of Georgia, who holds a doctorate in counselling psychology and is the author of Good Sex: Stories, Science, and Strategies for Sexual Liberation.
She also leads the Smasher Lab – the school’s Study of Mental And Sexual Health Equity in Relationships laboratory.
Hargons describes the research featured in her new book and how better intimacy leads to better health.

Why is ‘good sex’ important?
“Sex is one of the most common and normal human behaviours, and yet it remains relatively taboo as a topic,” she says.
“Many people worry about being judged, either for being perceived as too sexual or not sexual enough, and a major focus of my work is to normalise talking and learning about sex to improve sexual functioning across the adult lifespan.”
From pain to pleasure, sexual dysfunction remains a steady concern for Hargons during her research.
“Sexual dysfunction and concerns in these areas are incredibly common,” she says.
“For instance, erectile dysfunction can affect up to 80 per cent of men at some point in their lives, while various sexual concerns impact 40 to 50 per cent of women. My work is focused on preventing and improving these health outcomes.”

What factors improve both intimacy and health?
Passion, pleasure, intimacy, communication – according to Hargons, these are just some of the sexual “seasonings” that can spice up a person’s sex life and lead to better health.
“Each of these enriches sex by helping partners identify what makes sex good to, and good for, everyone involved,” she says.
“This improves public health because ensuring everyone has access to the knowledge and skills relevant for all of the good sex ‘seasonings’ is an important aspect of health equity.
“Further, good sex can improve overall quality of life, reduce relationship distress, and boost mood and sleep. It can also help prevent sexual dysfunction, a prevalent disease category.”

In total, her book covers 19 chapters of “seasonings” and the research behind them.
“Passion, the burning desire for your partner, is often one of the most important attributes in new relationships that wanes in longer-term relationships,” she says.
“It’s one of the most common things couples come to me to help reignite, because it feels like [it is] what used to magnetise them to each other and help them prioritise sex. As life gets more intertwined and partners become very familiar with each other, they can feel less and less compelled to connect sexually.”
Reigniting those passions can have major results.
“Pleasure is the main reason people have sex,” she says. “Most people want to experience physical and emotional enjoyment, so when there is an absence of pleasure or there is sexual pain, it reduces motivation to have sex.
“When couples come to me [because of] desire discordance, or having one partner with higher desire than the other, the first question I ask is whether both of them find the sex enjoyable. Often one partner’s pleasure is more negotiable than the other’s, and so I try to help them achieve erotic equity.”
If couples feel passion and pleasure for each other, it can lead to something arguably more profound: intimacy.
“Intimacy is the feeling of closeness – or being known and seen for who you truly are – you feel with your sexual partner,” Hargons says.

There are many forms of intimacy, she adds, quoting Dr Shamyra Howard, a sex therapist from the School of Social Work at the University of Michigan in the US. These include physical, sexual, emotional, social, intellectual, financial and spiritual intimacies.
Determining which type of intimacy you and your partner(s) really appreciate can help you develop more tailored options for romance.
“Intimacy helps build trust and the ability to be vulnerable in relationships,” Hargons says.
So how can couples best approach these topics? Communication.
“Communication is the way we let our partners know what we want and do not want,” Hargons says. “The verbal and non-verbal ways we communicate with each other about sex require both expressive [talking] and receptive [listening] skills, as well as the ability to address the fears each person has in being an honest and kind communicator.”

How do you have healthier sex?
“Begin by identifying what you like and don’t like sexually,” Hargons says. “An easy way to do this is creating a ‘yes, no, maybe so’ list.
“Create three columns, one for each section. In the yes section, write all the things you enjoy and want to keep doing sexually, and things you have not tried yet that you want to try.
“In the no section, write all the things you do not enjoy and do not want to do any more. It can also include things you haven’t tried that you’re uninterested in trying.
“Finally, in your ‘maybe so’ list, write all the things you’re curious about, but are only willing to try in specific settings or circumstances.
“You can share this list with your partner, but even if you are not ready to do that, you will have enhanced your sexual self-awareness and be better positioned to ask your sexual partner for what you want.”
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Wellness

How to improve your sex life and intimacy for better health and stronger immunity

Good sex can improve your quality of life and reduce relationship distress, says sexual health expert Candice Hargons. Photo: Shutterstock

Professor Candice Hargons says sexual dysfunction and concerns around it are increasingly common. Photo: Candice Hargons 

The cover of Hargons’ book, Good Sex. Photo: Amazon

If couples feel passion and pleasure for each other, it can lead to something arguably more profound: intimacy. Photo: Shutterstock

Communication lets our partners know what we want and do not want in our relationship, Hargons says, and that helps build greater intimacy. Photo: Shutterstock

Identify what you like and do not like sexually, Hargons says. An easy way to do this is to create a “yes, no, maybe so” list. Photo: Shutterstock

Men with high sperm counts live longer than those with the lowest quality, study shows

Men with a higher count of healthy sperm could live an extra two or three years compared o those with lower counts, according to a recent study. Illustration: Shutterstock

A higher count of motile (swimming and moving) sperm has been linked to a slightly longer life expectancy. Illustration Shutterstock

The study suggests that subgroups of apparently healthy men with fertility problems are at increased risk of developing certain diseases later in life. Illustration: Shutterstock

How sex toys, condoms and lubes can be sustainable while keeping your lovemaking healthy and fun, and the people practising it

Couple at the beach.

Bocote wood dildos from Craving Wood. Photo: Courtesy of James Prior

Sustainability champion Kseniia Biriukova. Photo: Courtesy of Kseniia Biriukova

That Sassy Thing founder Sachee Malhotra. Photo: Courtesy of Sachee Malhotra

Wood craftsman and Craving Wood owner James Prior.

Speaker, writer and sustainability educator Kate Hall.

Eco-friendlier condoms like these from Sustain Natural emphasise things like fair-trade rubber and being free of chemicals such as nitrosamine.

Sex study in Japan concludes interest in making love can add years to a man’s life

An old couple in Japan. Photo: Shutterstock

Interest in sex is good for a man’s health Japanese study concludes. Photo: Shutterstock

Bruce Springsteen, 75, follows the Omad diet, but could you live on one meal a day?

Bruce Springsteen, 75, at an October 2024 rally for Democratic Party presidential candidate Kamala Harris in the US state of Georgia. Springsteen credits his fitness to following the Omad (one meal a day) diet. Photo: Reuters

Bruce Springsteen onstage in Las Vegas, looking very healthy at 75 years old. Photo: Getty Images

Eating “one meal a day is not a good idea”, says Brigham and Women’s Hospital obesity specialist Dr Caroline Apovian. Photo: Boston University

The Omad diet may not be suitable for some people, in which case the Mediterranean diet could be a better option. Photo: Shutterstock

Lifestyle

Health & Wellness

Health

Family & Relationships

A sexual health expert explains how to reignite your sexual relationship and describes the benefits of enhanced intimacy


A sexual health expert explains how to reignite your sexual relationship and describes the benefits of enhanced intimacy.


Sex and relationships

Reproductive health

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