6 prescriptions for lifelong love from Hong Kong doctors who had a whirlwind 1967 marriage

With love in the air thanks to Valentine’s Day, medical doctors Judith and John Mackay spoke to the Post about their 57-year marriage and why it endures. The pair wed in Edinburgh, Scotland, on July 8, 1967 but they built their careers and family in Hong Kong. Judith, 81, worked mostly in public hospitals before she established herself as an advocate for a tobacco-free world. She has worked with governments across Asia and beyond. Awards for her work include one from the late king of Thailand, and an OBE, a British order of chivalry, from the late Queen Elizabeth. John, who will turn 90 in May, has just published a two-volume memoir. A Doctor’s Life in Hong Kong recounts his three decades in the city working at the Drs Anderson and Partners medical centre; A Love of Mountains contains accounts of his journeys to the highest trekkable point in every country visited over the past 30 years. Their two sons live in the UK: Andrew, also a doctor, and Richard, an environmental executive. They have three grandchildren. These are highlights of their story – and how they have made love last. Instant connection The two first laid eyes on each other in 1967, at Edinburgh City Hospital in Scotland, where Judith, then 24, was giving a talk after getting her medical degree from the University of Edinburgh. John, then 31, was on study leave from his job in Hong Kong, to earn a postgraduate specialist degree. It really was love at first sight, he says – and Judith felt the same. “It was instantaneous: I knew this was the man I was going to marry,” she says. “Then, in this most forward way, I invited him to a ball.” Romance blossomed, but John would soon return to Hong Kong. The day he got his exam results, he asked: “Will you marry me?” Follow your heart There were a lot of uncertainties about getting married, the two agree. “But there were also a lot of uncertainties about not getting married. So we went for it,” Judith says. “I’ve certainly learned to trust my impulses from that moment onwards.” With less than two weeks before John’s departure, wedding plans were hastily made. When she called to invite friends, she had to assure them that no, she was not pregnant. After a weekend honeymoon John left for Hong Kong, while Judith stayed behind to finish the last three months of her internship. Hong Kong life – from riots to pay disparity and feminism She arrived in Hong Kong that October at a turbulent time: the 1967 riots, a taste of events that would unfold in the coming decades. She studied Cantonese and worked as a civilian medical practitioner in the Kai Tak Army Clinic, earning 75 per cent of a man’s pay under Hong Kong government regulations. Vexed to be doing the same work for less pay, Judith became a feminist – and had John’s full support. The gender pay gap for doctors closed in the early 1970s. Family concessions They had sons Andrew in 1969 and Richard in 1970. While working towards a postgraduate degree and to have more time with the children, Judith worked only three mornings a week. John gave up golfing weekends to have more family time, too. When Judith returned to full-time work, this time at Queen Mary Hospital, Western friends were critical of her for not simply staying at home. Doctors at the hospital, men and women, were the opposite, she says, asking why she had taken so much time off. “There was a feeling in the Chinese community that it’s almost a duty, if you have the benefit of an education, to use it.” Taking on tobacco – and mountains After more than a decade of working in public hospitals, Judith became a tobacco control advocate. She wrote a women’s health column for the Post, including pieces on the harms of tobacco and why tobacco advertising should be banned. That sparked a tobacco company’s response, attacking her and claiming there was no proof that smoking was dangerous. Outraged, and with John’s support, she moved into the tobacco-control work for which she is widely known and celebrated today. John worked with Drs Anderson and Partners until 1993 – a 30-year span with the practice that would become part of the current Quality Health Care group. He retired at the age of 58, to travel to high places in as many countries as possible – sometimes with Judith, a son or friend. Health challenges arise For John, back fusion surgery in 1996, at the age of 61, briefly put climbing on hold. Then he needed to control atrial fibrillation – an irregular heartbeat – that worsened in 2011 and 2013. In 2019, before the Covid-19 pandemic was unleashed, John made the last of his serious climbs, up Hong Kong’s Ma On Shan, at the age of 84. He told a gathering of the Royal Geographical Society at a book talk earlier this month: “My ambition now is to continue to be able to climb out of bed every morning.” For Judith, Covid-19 would deliver a nasty blow. She came down with the virus in August, 2022, and to this day suffers symptoms of long Covid: breathlessness, muscle fatigue, weakness, headache. “What I can do now is to get my energy level up for periods of the day; before, my energy level was up all day.” They offer these insights into staying together, in sickness and in health. 1. Mutual agreement “If an argument is looming, John always manages to deflect it by making me laugh,” Judith says. She admires his ability to defuse stressful situations, and describes him as her quiet safe haven. Whenever it seems they are heading for a quarrel, she thinks: “Suppose anything happened to one of us tonight, would I want this to be my last memory of John and I? It puts everything into perspective.” 2. Together but separate Giving each other space is key, John says. “When Judith took up tai chi I was interested, but I thought, well, that’s going to be her thing. I play golf. We each have separate interests.” Judith agrees. Hers are feminism and the women’s movement and tobacco; his are mountain trekking and the Rotary Club. 3. Keep moving “We try to do exercise every single day,” Judith says. She might go out for a morning walk; John loves pottering around the garden. “What’s the point of spending the last part of your life with incapacity?” 4. BFFs for life John says living alone would be unbearable, and “being really good friends … loyal, and happy, and good friends”, keeps them close. 5. Look for the positive The pair read the Post every morning, then ask, what was the good news? “Sometimes it’s hard to find any,” Judith says. “We’re always just looking for … that glimmer of good news somewhere in the world.” She quotes the Chinese proverb: “You cannot prevent birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.” 6. Check your zodiac signs for compatibility When Judith says the two of them are “the best combination” according to the Chinese zodiac – she is a sheep, he a pig – I smile, but cannot resist the impulse to verify it. A top hit of a Google search for pig-sheep compatibility reads: “You are an inseparable couple that is affectionate and happy with each other. You are deeply in love with each other, and willing to make any sacrifice for the other. Marriage provides you more opportunity to take care of each other, and makes you feel just like a fish in water.” Like what you read? Follow SCMP Lifestyle on Facebook, X and Instagram. You can also sign up for our eNewsletter here.

6 prescriptions for lifelong love from Hong Kong doctors who had a whirlwind 1967 marriage

For Judith and John Mackay it was love at first sight. They reflect on how they have made love last since marrying in a hurry in 1967