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Nancy Wang

One of the most basic but important parts of Chinese etiquette is knowing how to greet your older relatives correctly.
Ancient Chinese society placed a strong emphasis on hierarchy and respecting seniors, something that continues to be observed in contemporary Chinese culture.
The practice of a verbal greeting, often combined with a hand gesture, can be traced back to a collection of ancient Confucian texts – Zhouli (The Rites of Zhou), Yili (The Book of Etiquette and Ceremonial) and Liji (The Book of Rites) – that depict Chinese ceremonies and etiquette.
Unlike in many countries, where calling your uncles and aunties by their name is common, the Chinese have a more elaborate kinship system that assigns a specific term to every family member based on their relative age, gender and generation.
For example, when greeting your father’s older sister’s husband in Cantonese, you would call him gu cheung, whereas your mother’s older sister’s husband would be called yi cheung. Both are your uncles by marriage, but they do not have the same term.

There are also very strict distinctions between blood relatives and relatives formed by marriage, as well as between paternal relatives and maternal relatives, according to “A Comparative Study of Chinese and Western Greetings from the Perspective of Politeness Principle”, published in the journal IRA Academico Research.
Here is a quick guide to two sets of familial titles commonly used in Hong Kong that can help you navigate the labyrinth that is the Chinese kinship system.
Paternal side
Your grandfather on your father’s side is your ye ye.
Your ye ye’s older brother is your bak ye, his younger brother is your suk gung, and his sister is your gu por.
Your grandmother on your father’s side is your ma ma; her brothers are your kau gung and her sisters are your yi por.
Your father’s older brother is your bak bak, his younger brother is your suk suk, his older sister is your gu ma, and his younger sister is your gu je.
Maternal side
Your grandfather on your mother’s side is your gung gung.
Your gung gung’s older brother is your bak gung, her younger brother is your suk gung, and his sister is your gu por.
Your grandmother on your mother’s side is your por por; her brothers are your kau gung and her sisters are your yi por.
Your mother’s brother is your kau fu, her older sister is your yi ma, and her younger sister is your ah yi.

It is interesting to note that there are distinct variations in kinship terms between southern and northern China, depending on geographical regions and culture.
Generally, most people from northern China are accustomed to addressing their paternal grandfather and grandmother as ye ye and nai nai respectively, while maternal grandparents are referred to as lao ye and lao lao.
Regarding maternal aunts, in northern China they are commonly addressed as yi, prefixed with da and xiao to differentiate between older and younger. Paternal aunts are collectively called gu, distinguished by the same age markers used for maternal aunts – da and xiao.
Beyond the verbal greeting, traditional Chinese culture also employs specific gestures to express respect. In ancient China, the most common gestures included the kowtow and the fist and palm.
The kowtow was the grandest ritual, involving kneeling and pressing your clasped hands and forehead on the ground. Chinese officials would, for example, do it when they were before the emperor. It is now reserved for special occasions like weddings and honouring your parents.

The fist and palm, a more casual salutation, involves covering your fist with the other hand held in front of your chest – sometimes bowing slightly – and was commonly seen when people greet their neighbours and friends. This is still used in certain settings, such as ceremonies and events.
In day-to-day settings, Chinese people today are more used to smiling, nodding or shaking hands with someone to show their respect for others.


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Chinese people have a kinship system that assigns a specific term to every family member based on their relative age, gender and generation. Photo: Shutterstock

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Family & Relationships

Chinese family titles can be a minefield. From paternal grandfathers’ older brothers to mothers’ younger sisters, here are some useful ones


Chinese family titles can be a minefield. From paternal grandfathers’ older brothers to mothers’ younger sisters, here are some useful ones.


Hong Kong culture

Cantonese

Cantonese culture, slang and customs

How to greet your Chinese relatives in Cantonese – do you know your gu fu from your yi ma?

.css-1c6uqr6{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;overflow-wrap:break-word;}Chinese family titles can be a minefield. From paternal grandfathers’ older brothers to mothers’ younger sisters, here are some useful ones

Chinese family titles can be a minefield. From paternal grandfathers’ older brothers to mothers’ younger sisters, here are some useful ones