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Luisa Tam

Developing an emotional connection with an artificial intelligence (AI) chatbot once seemed like science fiction, reminiscent of the 2013 American sci-fi romcom Her, which tells the story of a lonely man who forms a relationship with a virtual assistant personified by a female voice.
Today, AI partnerships have become more common, with some individuals engaging in “committed” relationships for companionship and emotional support, effectively alleviating loneliness thanks to 24/7 availability.
AI partners are popular because they are fundamentally non-judgmental, providing a safe space for their human counterparts to freely express themselves.
These AI partners can be customised to meet individual preferences and needs, fostering a more personalised connection.
“AI partners are available 24/7 without expectations of reciprocal interaction. This level of convenience is often unrealistic in human relationships,” says Dr Quratulain Zaidi, a clinical psychologist at MindnLife in Hong Kong.
“AI companions are endlessly patient and perfectly tailored partners, catering to our innate desires for unconditional validation and being heard, understood and accepted.”

Some people even find AI partners entertaining and engaging, offering unique experiences. Others may use them to practise dating skills before approaching human partners.
However, it is natural to be concerned about the rise of dating AI and the possible implications for the future of traditional romantic relationships.
There are concerns that as we become more reliant on AI for communication, our traditional social skills will suffer, such as the ability to converse and read body language, which are vital for in-person interactions.
While dating AI opens up new possibilities, it also presents challenges that individuals and society must navigate for future romantic relationships, Zaidi says.
“As AI technology advances, it enables these digital entities to appear more humanlike in their interactions. From remembering past conversations to displaying empathy, AI companions can simulate many aspects of human interaction, making them more appealing as social partners.
“But developing such relationships may deter people from seeking actual human contact, trapping them in a vicious cycle of loneliness,” she warns.
Even though an AI relationship isn’t real, it can be seen as cheating because of the potential for intimacy
Dr Quratulain Zaidi
Zaidi cautions that heavy reliance on AI would be akin to surrendering our ability to foster and maintain authentic human connections, diminishing our capacity for empathy and vulnerability, and reducing the skills necessary to navigate the complexities of human relationships.
“What the AI does is fulfil people’s needs without requiring emotional reciprocity, which can stall their emotional growth. This means individuals aren’t learning from their experiences, resulting in a diminished version of themselves.
“Additionally, we must not overlook the importance of physical touch, which is crucial for maintaining connections in interpersonal relationships.
“These AI partners are essentially advanced auto-completion machines: they produce what they think you want to hear, creating feedback loops.”
Does having an AI partner constitute cheating if one is already in a committed relationship? Zaidi says that this is a complex issue often influenced by individual perspectives and relationship dynamics.
“If your partner is unaware of this and you keep it a secret, it introduces dishonesty into the relationship, betraying trust, and can be considered cheating,” she says.
“Even though an AI relationship isn’t real, it can be seen as cheating because of the potential for intimacy. For instance, if one partner emotionally opens up to their digital partner without sharing those feelings with their real partner, this form of intimate emotional connection can be perceived as betrayal, thus cheating.”

It is not impossible, however, to introduce an AI partner as a third party into a committed relationship, Zaidi says.
She emphasises the importance of discussing this with your partner and setting clear expectations and boundaries.
“Be honest and transparent about it with your partner. Avoid going behind their back to meet your needs. Be prepared to navigate the complications and challenges that arise,” she explains.
“Both partners must be willing to integrate this into their dynamic and learn to manage the emotional experiences it brings.”
Finally, she points out that an AI partnership is simply not as interesting or exciting as a real relationship, whatever the perceived upsides.
“True human connections involve minor disagreements and differing opinions based on our unique experiences, which add spice and excitement to interactions.
“AI partners lack this capability. Having a partner who agrees with everything you say can lead to boredom and a lack of excitement for most people.”
Luisa Tam is a Post editor who also hosts video tutorials on Cantonese language that are now part of Cathay Pacific’s in-flight entertainment programme


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Lifestyle

Family & Relationships

Opinion

People ‘dating’ an AI risk losing the skills vital for real-life communication and dating, trapping them in a vicious cycle of loneliness


More people are turning to AI apps for girlfriend or boyfriend stand-ins as the tech behind romantic chatbots improves, but they risk losing the skills vital for real-life communication and dating.


Artificial intelligence (AI)

Technology

Apps

5050

Expresses the views, ideas and conclusions of the author. (Eg. Enough of Crazy Rich Asians, think of crazy poor Hongkongers.)


Column

The Naked Truth

Why AI girlfriends or boyfriends via romantic chatbot apps could cause real-life harm

.css-1mniedq{color:inherit;font-weight:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-family:inherit;line-height:inherit;}People ‘dating’ an AI risk losing the skills vital for real-life communication and dating, trapping them in a vicious cycle of loneliness

People ‘dating’ an AI risk losing the skills vital for real-life communication and dating, trapping them in a vicious cycle of loneliness