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Sex and relationships
LifestyleFamily & Relationships

I’m a Chinese man dating an Indonesian woman. We’re in love – but it’s not that easy

  • Anti-Chinese sentiment in Indonesia means it is tough for interracial couples who face social, cultural and religious barriers
  • Religion is the main reason that Indonesian Muslim women seldom commit to long-term relationships with Chinese men

Reading Time:3 minutes
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Jason Hung and his girlfriend met in 2018. While they are in love, they face struggles in their interracial and interfaith relationship. Hung is from Hong Kong and is Catholic and his partner is from Indonesia and is Muslim.
Jason Hung

“I cannot believe I am in a relationship with a Chinese guy. Chinese dudes were never my type.” So says my girlfriend, a 28-year-old Muslim Indonesian, almost every other day.

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She is not criticising me personally, but like many of our Indonesian female friends, she racially profiles men of Chinese descent. We can be rude and unhygienic, among other things, they seem to think.

Being in a relationship with an ethnic Chinese man, or just admitting to having feelings for one, can require courage for Muslim women in Indonesia. It presents them with many social, cultural and religious obstacles.

“If I meet the wrong guy, I am wasting my 20s and may end up failing to find a husband,” several Indonesian female friends have explained.

Religion is the main reason that Indonesian Muslim women seldom commit to long-term relationships with Chinese men, Hung writes. Photo: Alamy
Religion is the main reason that Indonesian Muslim women seldom commit to long-term relationships with Chinese men, Hung writes. Photo: Alamy
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The racial bias against ethnic Chinese people in Indonesia stems from a long history of anti-Chinese sentiment. Under dictator Suharto’s New Order regime (1967 to 1998), Chinese Indonesians were expected to adopt Indonesian sounding names in the 1970s, to assimilate and amid fears of creeping communist infiltration in the country.
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