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Charlotte Parsons

Poor Little Richard. He's been getting some bad press of late.

But Lai See  is here to bring him good news.

Come June, people will be singing his praises.

That's when the Hong Kong Welsh Male Voice Choir is performing.

The group appears to have decided that there aren't enough local business leaders immortalised in song.

This honour, they feel, is Rich Li deserved.

Lai See  has been leaked the lyrics of their ode to a Cyber King.

It's entitled Positively Hong Kong and sung to the tune of Elvis Presley's'Love me Tender'.

(Solo)

There's a blackbird in the spring,

'Neath the willow tree;

Yet it's not to him we sing,

But to Richard Li.

(Chorus)

Richard Li! Richard Li!

He's a rising star!

For thy youth we honour thee.

(and for thy papa)

(Choir)

Of the Stock Exchange a prince,

Is young Richard Li,

P.C.C. and W.

Profits handsomely!

Richard built a Cyber-Port

Down Pokfulam way.

He's a scholar, he's a sport:

That's what people say.

Hmmm. Some of those lyrics seem a bit out of date. We're willing to let that 'profit handsomely' bit slip through.

But in light of recent events, they really should drop the word 'scholar'.

Cross over fakers: Lai See  has been scanning our Justice Department's annual expenditure report.

And we were incensed to discover that HK$444,000 has been squandered 'conducting mock trials in the mainland'.

What a waste of money.

Everyone knows mainland courts are perfectly capable of conducting their own mock trials.

Cash relief: Ever wonder how much it costs to buy a High Court judge's wig and robe?

We found the answer to that one in the judiciary's financial report.

It falls under 'judicial dress allowance'.

There's lots of interesting stuff in that document. Like the Magistrate's poor box.

Lai See  was pleased to learn that some of the department's money has been earmarked for the less fortunate.

The stated aim is 'to meet occasional payments authorised by magistrates for the relief of poor and needy persons who appear in court'.

Good to see that we're protecting society's downtrodden.

The poor get to share HK$8,000.

Each wig-shopper gets HK$28,100.

Public menace: Lai See  has been hearing from puzzled readers.

They read Lai See's  Saturday column, and couldn't work out why she was unnerved by a Reuters report on foot and mouth disease, and its potential impact on pigs in Hong Kong.

Why were we spooked because some spokesman 'stressed [that diseased pigs] did not pose a public health hazard'?

Actually, there was a bit of a misprint there.

A ghost in the editing machine put that 'l' into 'public'.

What Lai See  was alarmed was the implication that there might be pigs in Hong Kong that did  pose a menace to pubic health.

We mean besides the ones people meet in dodgy Wan Chai pick up joints.

Graphic: whee26gbz



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Tender ode leaves sour note on Li