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Charlotte Parsons

Ah, those spiteful little e-mails.

Lai See just received one claiming to be 'an e-mail sent round Herbert Smith in Hong Kong'.

The message has clocked up some serious mileage. We got it from a friend in New York.

The names have been changed, but here's what it said:

'From: Smith, Kelly

Sent: 16 March 2001 11:39 To: All Hong Kong Executives

Subject: 24th Floor Night Secretary

Please note that our night secretary, Karen Michaels (24th Floor), has been murdered.

The replacements are as follows: Friday 16th March Alice Wong, her station is 2436-2 ext. 3129. Monday 19th March Vicky Chow, her station is 2439-1, ext. 3172. They will stay until 9:00pm.

If you need any extra assistance, please contact me as soon as possible. Many thanks, Kelly.'

Outrageous, thought Lai See. This just goes to show how heartless these lawyers are. It's all that greed and urban alienation.

But when we called up to guilt-trip, a bemused Herbert Smith staffer informed us that yes, there was a Kelly Smith working in Human Resources, and yes, there was a night secretary named Karen Michaels.

But both of them are breathing.

Hmmm. Sounds like some cyber slanderer is out to make those lawyers look bad.

Pretty low, pretending someone is dead like that.

Then again, judging by how long it takes the average Hong Kong receptionist to pick up the phone, it could just have been an honest mistake.

Just plane common sense: We've just been alerted to one of the regulations stipulated by the International Civil Aviation Organisation.

'Simultaneous landings by two or more jetliners are limited to airports with multiple runways.'

Real sticklers, those ICAO boys.

Stand up like a man: Imagine waking up and discovering that you've been in a coma.

Now imagine waking up and discovering that you've been in a coma AND you've given birth to a child.

No, Lai See has not been moonlighting as a script writer for The Bold and the Beautiful.

We just learned that a Texan 18-year-old gave birth to a daughter after a car accident left her in a coma. She went into labour naturally and then regained consciousness a week later.

It was then that she discovered that she was in love with Doctor Drake Flame, but that he (duped into believing that the child belonged to the evil Dr Dark Knight) had become involved with a mysterious amnesia victim who appeared in the ER one night during a terrible storm. . .

Oh, alright. We admit that last bit was, in fact, a soap opera plot. But the stuff before it was true.

And what makes it even more amazing is the fact that the new mother had been pregnant before and miscarried twice.

But this time, 10 hours of comatose labour produced baby Alexis.

According to a wire service report: 'Mom and daughter came through the high-risk delivery in fine shape. Dad fainted in the delivery room'.

Yep, that's real-life men for you.

Road fools: A couple from the 'Motor Cyclists' section of a reader's take on the 'The Shanghai Highway Code':

Do not carry loads which require more than one hand to steady them;

A crash helmet is mandatory if you have one;

Before buying a motorcycle, consider the ease with which you can push it home.

Graphic: whee23gbz



Graveyard shift has real impact